Evanescent,,,,

Evanescent....i love this word.... it describes the beauty of life so well...like a rainbow, this life spreads beautifully in front of us and  just when you start to understand what its all about, it gone....
the earlier we, understand that nothing last forever, the better it would be for us.....
more happier and more content.....
everything is evanescent...... quickly vanishing...like vapor....

life goes on..

There is no noise,  when a heart breaks,
just  excruciating pain and silence....
A river of  tears, waiting to spill,
Afraid,of falling at an unfortunate moment.....
The hands and feet  continue to work,
as life has to go on as usual...
The brain is numb but is conditioned to work,
like a machine....
The ego does not allow me to show my pain.,
I  have to hide it,,
I have to smile...
I have to live
There is no other way......nothing...

my space

as i go back and forth inside my memories....

i realise that , 

i need to look after myself more..

i have to love myself and become selfish....and self centred..

enough is enough!

where do I go???

 2 ROADS...
WHERE DO I GO...?

being on a hook...

Im waiting,....
on a hook.. like a little worm..
drop me please...
and let me swim, away from you....
enough of  your  false hopes,
and contradictions.....
just let me go....
leave me alone and forget me...
I am useless now, to you,
I am spent...
look for another worm...to get you more fish.....

where has it all gone.

There is so much love and struggle
there is so much honesty and appreciation
but, where is the happiness  and the smile?
when will it all come back?
will it come back?
ever?
the only thing certain is death....
everything else is uncertain and subject to change....
EVERYTHING....
ALL....
NOTHING LASTS FOR EVER......

New Year Resolution...

 Love is kind, and patient...

This is what the Bible says..

I tried to do this...

I was  being kind , patient and appreciative of the people in my life...

I was doing what the Bible told me...

BUT.....

I realise  that the people to whom  I was being the embodiment of love did not deserve my love..

I was not being AUTHENTIC...

I was not being my real self....

My real self is a happy self, where there is reciprocation of feelings

I deserve the best..

. 

I CANT SETTLE FOR NOTHING BUT THE BEST!

If  I feel I am  being undervalued, unappreciated , 

and feel that  my needs are not respected and met....

I should ask myself  the following questions.

1. is this relationship working for me?

2 am I happy being kind patient and appreciative?

3. what am I appreciating?

4. can I take being not in connection ?

5.do I like an overdose of silence?

6 where is my self respect?
7. can i respect a person who doesn't respect me?