Love cannot hurt.
Mutual respect is most important.
One might be the best, but if there is no one to appreciate you.... your best maybe be your worst...
Life is beautiful.
The world is small and round.
Human emotions everywhere, in every corner of the world is the same.....
Human beings are confused, they want happiness, but they throw away their only way to happiness easily...they reach for the moon and forget about the little star twinkling beside them.
Life is about the number of beautiful moments that take your breath away.And if u find someone to share it with, its a BIG BONUS.
Its best to live with a person who loves you for the person you are, the inner you, a person who sees the best in you....and helps you want be a better person.
A person who lets you BE. Just be!
You can make anything happen if u have the will.The universe will help you find your dream.Only, only if you really want it....the universe knows your secret......
This blog has been witness to my journey, I`ve cried, I`ve laughed, but, mostly I`ve LIVED through this blog.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Life is such....
Today, I was traveling in the second class compartment in the local train.
I was totally stuck, I was breathing into a person`s face...the train was disgustingly packed with human beings....
I was in a such a position that, I was looking into the persons eyes.. MY GOD!... too close for comfort.
Suddenly the person started crying... huge drops of tears...came rolling down her face.... when I inquired, the person said that she was coming back from hospital after an appendicitis operation,and that she was in pain...Jesus!
when I looked again, now, with more concentration, I found that the person was a Trans gender. In the crowded train she told me her story.
At the age of 15, she was thrown out of her home... her parents don't want her because she was different....
So she joined the Hijra community . She found that she was not happy there .. so much politics and hierarchy etc... She promised herself that she would get a Sex Change operation,and she collected the money for the operation,by working in dancing bars .
She told me that the operation was a trip to hell and back...it was the most painful thing to be endured....but even after all that, she is not happy at all..she has no boyfriend ,nobody to love her....she feels alone all the time.... She told me that everyone is interested in Money, and nobody cares about feelings.She works as a paid volunteer at a NGO...
Life is difficult....she told me she wants to commit suicide....
I didn't know what to tell her.. I just listened to her... told her to take care.....
I felt immense compassion for the person, who is born different....whom society discards...whose parents abandon her.....
I had to get down at my station. I gave her the Suicide Prevention Helpline number.She has promised to call...
I WAS THINKING,IF ,
ONE DAY, WHEN I WILL BE CRYING IN THE LOCAL TRAIN, BECAUSE I AM ALONE WILL SOME ONE SHOW ME COMPASSION?
WILL SOMEONE , ANYONE ,OFFER SOME KIND WORDS?
WILL SOMEONE GIVE ME A HELPLINE NUMBER???
I was totally stuck, I was breathing into a person`s face...the train was disgustingly packed with human beings....
I was in a such a position that, I was looking into the persons eyes.. MY GOD!... too close for comfort.
Suddenly the person started crying... huge drops of tears...came rolling down her face.... when I inquired, the person said that she was coming back from hospital after an appendicitis operation,and that she was in pain...Jesus!
when I looked again, now, with more concentration, I found that the person was a Trans gender. In the crowded train she told me her story.
At the age of 15, she was thrown out of her home... her parents don't want her because she was different....
So she joined the Hijra community . She found that she was not happy there .. so much politics and hierarchy etc... She promised herself that she would get a Sex Change operation,and she collected the money for the operation,by working in dancing bars .
She told me that the operation was a trip to hell and back...it was the most painful thing to be endured....but even after all that, she is not happy at all..she has no boyfriend ,nobody to love her....she feels alone all the time.... She told me that everyone is interested in Money, and nobody cares about feelings.She works as a paid volunteer at a NGO...
Life is difficult....she told me she wants to commit suicide....
I didn't know what to tell her.. I just listened to her... told her to take care.....
I felt immense compassion for the person, who is born different....whom society discards...whose parents abandon her.....
I had to get down at my station. I gave her the Suicide Prevention Helpline number.She has promised to call...
I WAS THINKING,IF ,
ONE DAY, WHEN I WILL BE CRYING IN THE LOCAL TRAIN, BECAUSE I AM ALONE WILL SOME ONE SHOW ME COMPASSION?
WILL SOMEONE , ANYONE ,OFFER SOME KIND WORDS?
WILL SOMEONE GIVE ME A HELPLINE NUMBER???
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
fatal attractions....
Ive been attracted to a few men in my life............ maybe 3.
Most of the time ,I was attracted for their intelligence, kindness, love for poetry and literature.It never made any sense to be in a relationship where there can be no future....so i never started any connection....maybe i was wrong....
But the other day I was wondering about a no strings attached relationship...
A relationship where there is a mutual agreement to be physically intimate, nothing else....
A relationship that expects and accepts nothing... no future, no love, no emotions, no dreams...
A relationship that exits into nothingness.....
A relationship that has the permission to dissolve....
A truthful relationship....where each partner knows its role....knows its limit.....
Most of the time ,I was attracted for their intelligence, kindness, love for poetry and literature.It never made any sense to be in a relationship where there can be no future....so i never started any connection....maybe i was wrong....
But the other day I was wondering about a no strings attached relationship...
A relationship where there is a mutual agreement to be physically intimate, nothing else....
A relationship that expects and accepts nothing... no future, no love, no emotions, no dreams...
A relationship that exits into nothingness.....
A relationship that has the permission to dissolve....
A truthful relationship....where each partner knows its role....knows its limit.....
Monday, 5 October 2009
I realise...
THE ONE THAT LOVES THE LEAST, CONTROLS THE RELATIONSHIP......BECAUSE IT KNOWS THE TRUTH....
THE OTHER IS SUBMISSIVE AND QUIET....BECAUSE....IT KNOWS THE TRUTH...TOO
THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE..THERE IS NO STRUGGLE ANYMORE.....ONLY, ONLY COMPREHENSION....WONDERFUL....
THE OTHER IS SUBMISSIVE AND QUIET....BECAUSE....IT KNOWS THE TRUTH...TOO
THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE..THERE IS NO STRUGGLE ANYMORE.....ONLY, ONLY COMPREHENSION....WONDERFUL....
0ctober 5th
This day is a very sad day for me...whenever the month October comes ..it is a remembrance of a life I had as a child.
We were a beautiful family of four. Mum, Dad, Brother and Me.
My father is a painter. He is also great calligrapher.
My mother was a teacher . She was the first woman in her small village to be a graduate and proceed to become a teacher.
She was a great singer and writer.
She taught in an orphanage.
As a matter of fact, before she married my father she lived in the orphanage with the kids.
My mother was extremely religious.So is my father.
That was the reason I was in a convent school for my school days.
Actually I was encouraged to become a nun, or a nurse, or a teacher or choose a career to be of some service to people.
But everything changed when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Her death is something that changed my life forever. The worst thing was that my freedom was gone. I was a motherless girl, And to be a girl and motherless is a curse in India.
BUT
most of what I am is because of My Mother.
I realized the importance of compassion and forgiveness from her.
The love for arts, literature, people is all from her.
I can say that maybe I don't have external beauty, maybe Im not very worthy of peoples consideration, maybe people don't want me in their lives,maybe people want to use me...
but the fact remains that I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEART. A HEART FULL OF LOVE. AND SO MUCH TO GIVE.....I AM PROUD OF THAT...
But really who needs that????????
We were a beautiful family of four. Mum, Dad, Brother and Me.
My father is a painter. He is also great calligrapher.
My mother was a teacher . She was the first woman in her small village to be a graduate and proceed to become a teacher.
She was a great singer and writer.
She taught in an orphanage.
As a matter of fact, before she married my father she lived in the orphanage with the kids.
My mother was extremely religious.So is my father.
That was the reason I was in a convent school for my school days.
Actually I was encouraged to become a nun, or a nurse, or a teacher or choose a career to be of some service to people.
But everything changed when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Her death is something that changed my life forever. The worst thing was that my freedom was gone. I was a motherless girl, And to be a girl and motherless is a curse in India.
BUT
most of what I am is because of My Mother.
I realized the importance of compassion and forgiveness from her.
The love for arts, literature, people is all from her.
I can say that maybe I don't have external beauty, maybe Im not very worthy of peoples consideration, maybe people don't want me in their lives,maybe people want to use me...
but the fact remains that I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEART. A HEART FULL OF LOVE. AND SO MUCH TO GIVE.....I AM PROUD OF THAT...
But really who needs that????????
Sunday, 4 October 2009
.intellectual stimulation....new ideas.... new horizons..
After visiting the museum, and meeting a number of people, I went to eat at Leopolds.....its one of my favorite places to eat non-veg food.I was accompanied by a gentleman who was also planning to eat alone....the conversation was good... and time passed by.It was a nostalgic experience. I was thinking about the time I was journalist.
I had met so many people, it was a wonderful time in my life...I working like a mad person.
covering events, writing reports, interviews,
One time, I was counseling on the newspaper that I was working for.It was good extra money.
I think I should really think about honing my skills.... I should meet new people.I should find interesting work. maybe I can free lance again.
everything happens for a reason.....Im optimistic...
Saturday, 3 October 2009
SOMETIMES.....
sometimes..... I feel as if I will die if I am not held...not comforted... not hugged tight.....
i need the touch...
i need the comfort...
i need the hug....
the sweet kisses...the physical intimacy... the connection...
to share a blanket...
to share a pillow...
to share silences... to listen to hearts beating as one...
the connection of the soul....the precious moment....the unforgetable moment created by us...amazing....magical...forever etched in memory.....
i need the touch...
i need the comfort...
i need the hug....
the sweet kisses...the physical intimacy... the connection...
to share a blanket...
to share a pillow...
to share silences... to listen to hearts beating as one...
the connection of the soul....the precious moment....the unforgetable moment created by us...amazing....magical...forever etched in memory.....
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