Monday, 30 November 2009


Security is mainly Superstition.

It does not exist in nature,nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.


Sunday, 29 November 2009

the final step...

The meeting was thrilling, exciting,done for a lark!
as the meeting becomes more and more frequent,
the man and woman discover, that,
they are compatible in many ways.....
there are many flaws in both of them ....
of course!there are no perfect men and women....
they realise...
life is beautiful....
so, the the final step was taken...
after a lot of deliberation, lot of thought...
they became one...
in complete surrender,
absolutely , in full control over their emotions...
without regret...
but..the futility of something that the woman did not consider.....
she gave this man.... mind and body with trust and love.....
expecting nothing in return....
after all its true that man uses affection for his needs and woman gives in to the mans need to gain his affection...
the perception of man and woman is different....
there can never be complete equality between a man and a woman...

Wednesday, 25 November 2009


Im so happy I feel guilty!!!! ( lol)
am I supposed to be so happy?in bliss? in contentment?
Of course! Human beings are born to be happy......its our basic nature.....but many times we forget that!!! ... We indulge in self pity, self condemnation and self something something......
My God! But today, I'm in bliss just like I used to be earlier.. no thoughts of future, no past no nothing... just the present....I don't care any more.....I will live ...I will die...Whatever happens in between is the bonus.....the prize for living in a blissful state!

the beauty of being alive...

In July 2006, I was a part of a project, the team members worked hard to bring about change in the lives of the rural, tribal, school going children.
These children were first generation school goers.
I was in charge of their emotional needs. I was to be a Friend and Counsellor. I loved my role...
I was also a translator for the volunteers who came from different parts of the world.
I was thrilled that I was part of this change.
Three years ago I was very raw and simple. ( btw, I still am!)
I had never done such work before.
I started my work in earnest. I documented everything I did, I gave my 100%.
Life was so beautiful.
The kids were very shy at first and did not trust any of us, esp. the foreigners.
it was only when we played, ate, slept with them that they cared to acknowledge us.
It took around 4 months to start the work.
Today, I met many of the kids as they came to visit me....they have grown, tall and beautiful.
enriched by the experience,
grateful that they are able to fend for themselves.
realise that they are lucky to be in the position that they are in.
I feel each one of us is on this earth to do something for society.....
what better than to help the next generation.....
wat say???

Tuesday, 24 November 2009


Many people have called me sensitive, I always thought that it was a good thing but recently when someone said I was sensitive, I found that it contained a tinge of sarcasm...
and so, researched about the word, and did some much needed introspection
YES!!!!... I'm touchy about some issues....
having parents who were very religious has its boons as well as curses....
my values system is in place.. but with it there are many cultural values that cant be ignored by me.... its conditioned deep in side my head and I'm not able to erase it...
I think it happens to any one .....
but Yes, if I am truly liberated and free, I should not bother about what people think of me.....who cares.... why should I bother.....????
I think it will take time.....but by the wont matter....!!!! THAT`S LIFE!


The need to be understood and loved is something that every human being identifies with.....
If we research, and look at the various reasons for war and violence, we will find that it is because of misunderstanding.....when we touch the wrong side of a human being`s ego, then it causes strife.
everyone wants a ear to listen , a heart to behold and some warmth in their lives.
Everyone want to be happy and have a wonderful life.....a life shared with ones loved ones......
human emotions are universal......

Monday, 23 November 2009


keep the fire up.... don't let it die to embers......

Sunday, 22 November 2009


the most beautiful things in life are those that cannot be seen nor has to be felt with the heart....
my friends are so sweet......we went out for an outing....and it was the most relaxing experience..

Sunday, 15 November 2009


Every thing happens for a reason....We need our freedom , our space, its True!!!!!
Amazingly, something wonderful happened recently...I guess when things happen they happen for a reason...You know what? ;-)

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Tuesdays with Morrie..

I started this book on a Friday, it was an important day....
I finished the book in one sitting..... I loved it so much.....
all the time I was thinking, I WISH EVERYONE HAD THE HABIT OF READING....
I feel that reading and travelling are the 2 most important things that a human being can do to understand life.

"Love is the only rational act" is one of the dying observations of Morrie Schwartz, a retired university professor who shares his final thoughts on life, love, and friendship with a young man who is transformed by being witness to a good death. Popularized by a made-for-television movie, this inspirational book is based on a true story.


On Relationships:

"There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like." (p.177,178)

ON Death :

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." (p.174)

On Aging:

"Aging is not just decay...It's growth." (p.118)

On Most Important Thing in Life:

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." (p.52)

On Love:

"Love wins. Love always wins." (p.40)

* * *

"Love each other or die." (p.163)

On Culture:

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." (p.42)

Wednesday, 11 November 2009


Today was a good day.....really.....Ive always wanted a goldfish... in a tiny bowl....from when i was a young girl....i loved the tv series... DIFFERENT STROKES.. and cute little Arnold, with his goldfish Abraham....

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

"Put You Head On My Shoulder"

Put You Head On My Shoulder"
© Lloyd Pollard
Paint on Paper
Previously Unpublished.
First Blog Publication.

Hold me as if for the first time
Hold me as if for the last time.

Hold me like you've never held me before.
Hold me like you'll never hold me again.

Hold me now
Hold me forever
Hold me as your life's treasure...

But please, just hold me.

Monday, 9 November 2009


Change is the only Constant!
You have changed, I feel it!!!!
Its because you want change.
I understand.
But it does not mean I don't hurt.
Rejection always hurts.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

i love this.....

I am Beautiful' 8"x12" © Lloyd Pollard 2004
black & white stressed & painted photograph
First exhibited in 2004 "Faces" solo show.
CreArtive Gallery, Toronto.

First blog publication.

There is something I am not telling you
There is something I have not
told anyone
It's a secret but not a secret

Can you tell what it is?
Can you see what it is?
I've known it for a long time but I wasn't sure that people wanted to know it

Have you figured it out yet?

Ok, no more suspense, here is my little secret:

"I am beautiful"
That's all I wanted to say.

some quotes that make sense at this particular time in my life

"...all the gods, all the heavens, all the hells are within you."
(Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth)
[I am a part of all things and all things are a part of me, consciously or unconsciously.]

"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream..."
(The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho)
[We are so powerful that not even the universe can deny you your heart's desire.]

"If you don't hear you'll feel."
("Cysley". My Mom)
[One way or another you will get the message that the universe is sending you. You have no choice.]

( I found this on the blogspace of LLOYD POLLARD)

Saturday, 7 November 2009


For a long time, I believed I was nobody..maybe because of many things that happened in my life.
I crave for love and attention.
i know that, if i love my self and my work, i don't have to bother about other peoples love and attention....
but i make mistakes, i expect love when i love... i don't know if it is wrong or right.
but i know when we expect something from someone, then it does not make one happy.......
i feel im going to start a new life..... a new beginning......

i know i am not basically a free human being... but...i realise that many educated men and women are not free in their minds.That may be the problem with me.... i take people at face value.. i dont analyse human beings much.
i believe in connections not manipulations.....
i learned slowly and stupidly that educated men and women follow tradition without questioning its authenticity, they believe in the concept of virginity, which is so outdated ....
for me virginity is in the mind... if u love someone deeply with your body as well as mind then u r in a virginal relationship.
i read somewhere about the marriage of the minds.i guess thats what is really required, a marriage of the minds....if its a marriage of the body...then it will surely fail.. body gets old and decayed.mind is more stronger and can remain young forever.....
your body consists of chemicals as well as a sacred part.. your soul....
your body can be greedy....but if our soul becomes dirty and greedy....then u r lost.....
i must keep my soul clean........

there were 4 now there are 2

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

people say I look like her............( SOHA ALI KHAN)

BUT I SAY, SHE LOOKS LIKE ME.................

today in the train.....

Today, a very funny thing happened....
the train was packed as usual and I was getting late for college...
I couldnt get into the train....2 trains left with out me....
I was desperate....
when the next train came I jumped into it....
and suddenly I realised I was in the compartment for the disabled....
I realised that if I would be caught by the Ticket checker, I would have to pay the fine....
I was anxious...
luckily, I had worn dark glassses....I pretended to be blind.....
2 men( handicapped) offered me their seat... this would never have happened in the ladies compartment or the general compartment... ( nobody gives up their seat!!!!)
I sat demurely ashamed yet, silently, grateful to those kind men and closed my eyes....
waiting for my station to arrive
at last my destination arrived....
and I alighted from the train as fast as I could
after the train left the platform.... I couldnt control my laughter....
what an adventure!!!

que sera sera....( doris day)

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother,
what will I be
Will I be pretty,
will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young,
I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Monday, 2 November 2009

what i am today.....

today ,i feel as if i am an attention seeking super bitch,,,,'
what exactly do i want????
dont i have everything?????

Sunday, 1 November 2009

health benefits of having regular sex

Would you rather run 75 miles or have sex three times per week for a year? Research shows that both activities burn the same number of calories. (7,500, to be exact).We often think that some thing what feels good cannot possibly be good for us. Now it is time to think again. Sex in a loving, intimate relationship and has numerous health benefits. In women, for example, the sexual act triggers the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin promotes the feelings of affection and triggers that nurturing instinct. In men, sex encourages the flow of testosterone, which strengthens bones and muscles and helps transport DHEA hormone that may be important in the function of the body? immune system. Regular sex is regular exercise and has similar benefits, including improved cholesterol levels and increased circulation. Sex, like exercise, release endorphins. Endorphins contribute to the runners high and diminishes pain levels. Sex therapists remind us that frequent sex is a form of exercise.

Other benefits of having regular sex include:

Increased blood flow

Sex helps increase the blood flow to our brain and to all other organs of the body. Increased heart rate and deep breathing accounts for improvement in circulation. As fresh blood supply arrives, our cells, organs and muscles are saturated with fresh oxygen and hormones, and as the used blood is removed, the body also remove waste products that cause fatigue and even illness.

Stress reduction, relaxation and improved sleep

People have frequent sex often report that they handle stress better, so the normal stresses of living do not become distress. The profound relaxation that typically follows lovemaking with orgasm for women and ejaculation or orgasm for men, may be one of the few times people actually allow themselves to completely let go, surrender and relax

Maintaining ideal body weight

There are 3500 calories in a pond of fat. For every 3500 calories we burn, we will lose one pound of fat. Sexual intercourse burns approximately 150 per half hour.

Lower cholesterol

Lowering of cholesterol is another of sex as exercise benefits. Sex helps as exercise benefits. Sex helps lower the overall cholesterol level. Perhaps more importantly it tips the HDL/LDL (good/bad) cholesterol balance towards the healthier HDL side.

Sex as pain reliever

Through the touch magic of sex the hormone oxytocin is secreted in our body which in turn causes the release of endorphins. Because of these natural opiates, sex acts as powerful analgesics, elevating the pain threshold and helping to relieve the aches like arthritis, whiplash and headaches.In fact, studies indicate that intimacy plays a key role in the health benefits of sex. A promiscuous sexual relationship may actually produce an opposite effect by introducing a sense of anxiety and fear. Sex therapists say sex acts on the principal of ?use it or lose it?. So, for your heart, mind, and soul, the best advice may be to ?just do it.?